Nature vs. Nurture / 2010

I have watched this tree for over 20 years. It is an understory tree, a surprisingly old Beech that has had enough light and nutrition to live but not enough to thrive. Living in the shadow of giants. 

Every time that I passed it, I felt the same blot of anger as when I saw it the first time. I have watched as generations attached themselves to its body. Used as a fence post, a corner post, by a farmer who cares more about his pocket book than he cares for a living thing. 

I have watched it absorb. I have watched it decay. Then I killed it. Tore it from the ground with a couple of tools and my bare hands. I don’t know what possessed me to dig this tree out of the ground, but possession is what it was. 

I did it, now I wonder what I was doing. Was it a mercy killing? I like to think so. It’s death has freed my vision and imprisoned me.